Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
