I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
