is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
