Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
