I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
