I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
