She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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