they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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