Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
