As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just gift wrapped bread.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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