sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
