Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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