Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
