Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
