the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
