Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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