Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
