Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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