Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
