who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
