The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
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