and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
