Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Everything about him screamed your future.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
