Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
