a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
