i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
