I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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