you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
