Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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