i think my mom watched the whole time
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
