I don't think brook has ever known best
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
