and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
