2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
