My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
