she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
