So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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