You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Dear god my vagina.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize