Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
