It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize