Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize