apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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