if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
