glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
