So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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