i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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