I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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