your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
