what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
