You really coming over, don't trick.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
