he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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