There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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