Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Randomize
