I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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