I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
