It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
