My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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