Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
