Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
