i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
