I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
