Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Randomize
