AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize