i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
