Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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