youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
