therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
