i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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