It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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