You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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