oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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