i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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