remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
