Buhtt sex?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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